I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
