i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
