so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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