You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize