I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
