we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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