??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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