Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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