Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
