You're completely useless in the revolution.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
