Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
