Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
