I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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