did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
