big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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