Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
