my mouth tastes like poor choices
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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