is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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