those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
