Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
