what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
