I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
