marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
