I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Even my vagina gasped.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
