My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
