if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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