so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
