Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
They have beer where we have blood.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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