I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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