I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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