you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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