your thong is hanging out like whoa
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
