How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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