just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize