I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i think my cat just said my name.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
