I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
