Need sex. Gaining weight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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