I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
