Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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