I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well you can't waste a boner
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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