Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
