They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My pussy is not your playground.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize