I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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