If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
