I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize