dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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