so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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