yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I party with great urgency now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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