Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
