Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
