Need sex. Gaining weight.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
