I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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