I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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