oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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