Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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