So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
