mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
