Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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